In this interview, Debra shares her path as a practitioner, mentor, and community advocate (video loads below).

Debra Riordan Interview: AyurvedaFlow from Matt Sloane on Vimeo.

• • • • • • •

Min / Topic

00:00 – Opening and introduction…
01:43 – Mentoring practitioners…
03:30 – Comparing ourselves to our teachers vs. self-confidence / willing to make mistakes…
05:37 – Feeling responsible for clients…
06:51 – Letting go and going with flow of where client is for each unique session…
08:10 – Getting started in your practice/ what is essential…
11:30 - The perfect questionnaire…
13:25 – More on comparisons / the benefits of being a client ourselves…
18:15 – Community for new practitioners…
23:19 – Support available for practitioners…
29:51 – Advice for new practitioners…
32:29 - Closing and a hopeful vision…

In this interview, Darci and I discuss her experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner, visiting the present, the past, and the timeless (video loads below).

Darci Frankel Interview: AyurvedaFlow from Matt Sloane on Vimeo.

• • • • • • •

Min / Topic

00:00 ~ Opening and introduction…
02:43 ~ Community Darci Serves…
07:43 ~ How to work with clients who want to be “fixed”…
12:42 ~ How transparent to be with clients re: own experience / self-judgment, contractions & expansions…
23:45 ~ A reading from “The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them” by Dave Richo…
27:22 ~ Some people need discipline…
31:00 ~ Dharma business, healing, and creativity…
39:44 ~ Wearing many hats, many roles to play…
43:12 ~ Our “own” will and “thy” will to opening a healing center / listening…
47:20 ~ Closing and acknowledgments…

I used to struggle with prioritizing, getting my needs met, accomplishing projects, and finding the time to take care of my most prized experiences:

• Self-care,
• Creative play.

Most of the time, I let those things go as ‘less-than-important’ and I stuffed the feelings I had about that choice (unconsciously).

Eventually, those choices added up and I would find myself struggling energetically in my body, mind, heart, and soul — which left me feeling exhausted and depressed.

Why couldn’t I do what I wanted?

In the U.S., there seems to be a perception that a large number of new practitioners (3 or fewer years in practice) feel the gap between themselves and the smaller number of seasoned practitioners (10+ years in practice).

Some believe that this is due to practitioner burnout. With any business, there comes a time to close down or dig deeper to find a way through. Either way might be the right choice for the individual and what remains is the sense of a gap in the overall community.

I was speaking to an emerging practitioner recently who mentioned how great it would be to have a resource for feedback on cases. A way to ask questions like, “am I on the right track?” and “am I missing anything?” and trust the experience of a seasoned practitioner to provide guidance.

When you are starting out, it can feel a bit daunting to be on your own in a practice, wanting to really to provide well-founded support for others. Sometimes, there may be doubts about your level of competency, as in asking yourself, “do I have the skill level necessary to meet my client’s needs?”

So naturally, to have access to someone with experience whom with you can check in, a mentor of sorts, is a particularly beautiful way to share knowledge and lift the spirits and capability of the community from the inside.

Some emerging practitioners are getting support in this way from past teachers — which is amazing and wonderful. However, not everyone has that connection or is even offered the possibility. Perhaps, there is only so much our former Ayurveda teachers can do.

And, of course, there are other potential mentors — seasoned practitioners, in the U.S. and elsewhere, who could provide some tips for tracking with clients properly and including more or less of what comes in the first draft of a client plan.

At the same time, there are always others who are emerging, in the same situation that you may be in. What is clear to me is that in any group setting, often the answers one person needs exist within another.

Group intelligence is another kind of possible support. It’s different because it may be less based on seasoned experience and more on recent academic study and some foundational experience. Nonetheless, support is support and it makes a difference.

The question is, how?

• What structures are needed to support a mentor relationship or a group guidance?
• What technology could be leveraged to ease the flow of communication for those who live in different areas or can’t meet at the same time?
• What agreements between mentor/mentee or within a group provide a rich experience within a sense of balance?

What do you feel in reading these questions?

Can Ayurvedic Practitioners work with people without being physically present with them?

Did you have an immediate response to that question? Like a firm ‘yes’ or ‘no’?

This is my inquiry… I do wonder what’s possible for the Ayurvedic community and I’m wanting to explore how the answer can be ‘yes’ in some cases.

• • • • • • •

Information Sharing
As a coach, I work exclusively on the phone with my clients. Now, it’s true, I’m not diagnosing a pulse or doing a tongue examination, and I could learn a lot through body language and other feelings that arise by being in a client’s presence.

Being in someone’s presence seems to allow for an energetic influence that feels intuitive in nature. Let’s just call it ‘information.’

It seems we might be able to get and give more information by being in the same physical space.

And all of this assumes a consultative relationship. The sort that takes a deep individualistic dive into the precise needs of one client at a time.

They get our full attention!

• • • • • • •

Focus & Depth
And, personally, I’ve found that my coaching actually works better on the phone than in person. There are logistical reasons, but in terms of information, I’ve found that the focus on my client becomes greater.

I’m a sensitive person — I sense a lot from my environment.

Being on the phone in effect reduces the amount of information to a few channels in which I can direct my attention. Namely: tone of voice, rate of speech, pauses or lack thereof, word choice, and even still, there’s this energetic influence I cannot explain.

I feel feelings that aren’t always mine. I sense energy in my body that isn’t always an egoic reaction. Distinguishing what is mine and what is not requires practice on my own — like a daily meditation and mindfulness throughout my day.

And when I’m clear about my part, I can hear through my body. So rather than only saying, “I heard you say this and that” I might also be saying “when you said this, I felt this around my heart.”

Out of context, it can sound like it’s about me.

In context, it appears to leave room for my clients to take a moment of distance from themselves in hearing me describe what they may be feeling. Often they take it right back to their experience. This process has actually allowed us to go deeper in our exploration of what is true for them.

And uncovering truth is the point of my work.

• • • • • • •

Now You
What do you think?

Consider inside and outside the typical consulting dynamic: how might an Ayurvedic Practitioner give and get information from afar while still providing value to people?

Please, share your comments below…

I can set the lighting to a soothing brightness, the temperature to 67, turn on music like Snatam Kaur chanting or Journey belting anthems (both enlightened in a hearty way), put some pillows by my lower back and under my knees with my feet up on the couch, cover myself in a cushy worn blanket, and choose the writing tools — laptop or a ballpoint pen and a journal.

Creating a space in this way, helps me engage in a ritual that reminds me of the intention to be creative. To let the channel open. To see what is being said through me each time I setup and enter that space.

This lead up to ‘being creative’ could be seen as a long road to travel before getting down to business. In the beginning, when I tried this, I noticed this was my way of stalling. Of doing everything possible before actually stepping into the creative experience. Procrastination with an edge.

The edge for me: I still had a choice to not create while I went through the preparatory motions. Of course, I always had a choice and always do — I could stop writing right now.

So in essence, in my ritualized setup period, I faced that choice, to consciously create or not to create, over and over. By going through the steps, making my environment conducive to my liking and what I felt supported me in moving into creativity, I can see how this is like building up a series of intention-affirming moments.

Getting the blanket, still willing to create, placing the pillows, still willing, turning on the music, still willing,… etc… And all that time spent not creating, just getting ready to create.

• • • • • • •

Who does this?

Athletes do these little rituals before entering a competitive game space — the way they adjust their clothes or touch the muscles they are about to call on. And performers do rituals before they step onto the stage, howling to release tension or doing breathing exercises that call on their lungs and vocal chords to work in harmony.

My method of ‘preparation’ is a way for me to be with familiar actions. A feeling of safety I create right before stepping into the unknown, which is scary for me, quite frankly.

What’s so scary about the unknown?

Oh, I don’t know… everything?!?!?

Just like a child going to sleep during a storm wants his blanky and Mr. Turtle and to hear Momma sing, “Don’t Stop Believing”, I don’t mind having a few things that make me feel good before doing something brave.

And what else is a willingness to be creative, if not an act of bravery?

So how can you BE with your audience instead of with your presentation?

I recall many times as a designer, jumping into a project, arranging shapes and colors and type on the computer, getting lost in the process. I wanted so badly to immediately manifest a thing of beauty, a perfect harmony of elements in a two-dimensional world.

I wouldn’t rest because my desire was so strong.

Now don’t get me wrong, this feeling of playful flow is wonderful — however, my body didn’t always like sitting as long as I did without a break for stretching or a snack.

What is most interesting, is that as a result of this habitual way, I began to actually believe that if I were to do anything creative, I had to block out 1–3 hrs to really immerse myself and be productive.

That’s quite a challenge, especially when we live in a Western culture and have taken on a gaggillion commitments to attend to on a weekly basis.

Here’s a return challenge from me to you: think big and engage in baby steps.

Just like Bill Murray in ‘What about Bob’:  “Baby steps out of the office,… baby steps to the hall,… baby steps to the elevator.”

• • • • • • •

A Dream

I’ve had a dream to write a novel for many years.

I used to spend most of my time doing outlines, figuring out ahead of time all the possible scenarios and ways the story could traverse an imaginary landscape, taking the reader for a ride.

But here’s the problem — I didn’t allow myself to take a ride. There was very little discovery because I had done so much scripting. I fooled myself to believe that the outlines were skeletons and eventually I would flesh out the details.

And you know what? That might work for some people, but it hasn’t worked for me.

I rarely fleshed things out and when I did, my feelings were not connected to the writing. I had become quite good at structure, writing from my head and lost touch with writing from my heart.

Pretty sad, huh?

• • • • • • •

An Exploration

For now, I’m inspired to write a novel as a way to learn about myself and try on a process I’ve never tried before. I don’t have any current plans to publish. This is an exploration of Matt and his creative self, inviting the question, “how can they playfully co-exist?”

My process is all about baby steps.

Every morning, after I do a little meditation, I grab my laptop and write a bit of the novel. I don’t know how long it will be when I’m done. I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen next. I don’t know how I will introduce each piece that I write — will it all be linear or otherwise?

I don’t know a lot of things.

Sounds like life, right?

I do have a vague sense of the story based on understanding plot structure, but when I write, I’m immersed in the details. The characters are starting to come to life, and I can see how they are all representations of me. Different aspects that I am uncovering, understanding and playing with.

The most crucial thing about this little ritual, is that it’s little. I write based on time, not based on length of the writing itself and each piece of writing is its own text file, titled based on that piece.

I give myself 25 minutes to:

• turn on my laptop
• sit on the couch with a blanket over my legs
• review the piece titles
• see what feels right to explore next
• write
• write
• write
• save
• close
• put away the laptop
• acknowledge my ’showing up’ and exploring

The writing isn’t always good. Sometimes it’s bland and boring and sometimes it’s gorgeous and colorful.

It doesn’t matter in the creative process. The important thing is that I show up. Day after day (missing a day here and there because I’m human), willing to see what happens next and being clear that I don’t and couldn’t possibly know.

Baby steps.

First, create the space in which to be creative.

• • • • • • •

Now You

For three weeks at the same time of day (if possible), try giving yourself a ritualized approach to a creative process in a limited timeframe, including the set-up and clean-up.

Don’t fool yourself as I did, when it’s time to create — create! The other important steps can be done outside that precious space.

Your creative process builds a habit, a channel, a doorway… care to discover what’s on the other side?

Your new client sits across from you, leaning your way and a little to one side — a desperation in the crease of her forehead.

Without a sound, her eyes are screaming, “fix me!”

And you hear her — loud and clear.

You feel your feet on the ground, your back in your chair and respond to her silent longing from a place deep inside you.

“I am going to show you how to heal yourself,” you say. “If I were to try and heal you, it wouldn’t last. If your healing comes from you, your life will change.”

She looks at you like you just told her it was all over, like you took her first wave of hope and threw it off a cliff.

And as you sit there, saying nothing more because nothing more needs to be said, you see her shoulders lower a bit, her jaw relaxing, her eyes softening.

It’s not the choice of words that makes your client look at you differently. It’s something inside you that speaks from your own experience. A truth that you have lived. A chapter of a path you have walked from suffering to recovery.

It’s your knowing that this client has a choice to make, and you want them to decide for themselves, because that is the first lesson you are teaching them — that empowerment to heal comes from within, as a matter of taking responsibility.

And it is the lesson you are practicing, to empower others rather than take care of them.

To be compassionate with yourself, to live in alignment with that which you offer others, to model self-healing as an ongoing process rather than an overnight cure.

To bring yourself to do what needs to be done so that YOU are a priority, just as you will invite your clients to make themselves a priority.

Your client leans back, the way that you are leaning back. She begins to breathe more easily, closer to the rate at which you are breathing deeply.

And then, like she had just given you your last chance to take it all back and admit that you didn’t believe what you were saying, you see the shift in her.

For perhaps the first time in her life, she’s been given a chance to decide — no pressure, just the supportive presence of a compassionate listener, sharing in the quiet space of graceful discipline.

She looks down for a moment at her hands, the hands that she will have to rely on. Within the face of this woman who is suffering, you see yourself. And while a part of you so badly wants to make it all better for her, you remain still, as your teachers did for you.

As she looks you in the eye, you can sense a faint glimmer of a sheepish grin. She shyly declares her willingness to play along. Not because you’ve convinced her. Not because you said the right thing and not even because you stayed quiet while she mulled things over.

But because of the truth that lives within you. The truth that you couldn’t hide if you wanted to. The truth that you emit when your words and your very being can be felt as a synchronized orchestra.

Because you take care of yourself. Because you know what it takes to be responsible for your own healing and you show up day after day to continue the journey.

“Thank you,” she says to you. “I’m ready to begin.”

• • • • • • •

Step more deeply onto your path…

4 Steps to Living in Alignment

• • • • • • •

You didn’t imagine that you’d simply be moving from working in one company to working in another.

But you did — this time your own company. Now you work for you, and the pressure may be as demanding as before, even if the meaning factor has improved.

What if you could heal your dharma business in a way that supported both you and the business?

There’s hope — keep reading…

• • • • • • •

In the Beginning

Back when you began, you got busy planning, building, doing — engaging with Ayurveda through your clients and your studies.

Very soon, you may have faced what 80% of small businesses face in their first year: burnout.

And sometimes it may feel like burnout is right around the corner. Without a sustainable way of doing business, it’s the only alternative.

It’s easy to get caught up in trying to get more clients while serving the current ones. It feels like a juggling act, doesn’t it?

According to Michael Gerber, business consultant and author of the E-Myth series, a business is “an organism… that will live or die according to how well it performs its sole function: to find and keep clients.”

Your busy-making has been well-intentioned. And likely, you began with the vision to facilitate healing in others, to spread an ancient wisdom for the betterment of those in your community, and really, for the world.

So how can any of these incredible visions manifest if we don’t meet that functional necessity: “to find and keep clients”?

Unfortunately, the answer is, your visions can’t and won’t manifest without finding and keeping clients.

Fortunately, understanding this will serve you well.

• • • • • • •

You Are NOT Your Dharma Business

While we are moving into an age that embraces all things being connected, it’s important to remember that we are also separate individuals.

In a spiritual sense, you and I are part of a conscious source that is one being. At the same time, you and I are unique expressions of that consciousness, so while we influence one another, we also engage in the world as individuals with unique experiences.

It’s the same with you and your dharma business. You are both one, and at the same time, you are unique manifestations that influence one another.

Ever feel like your business has a life of its own?

It does!

If your business fails, you do not immediately expire and while your business thrives, you do not necessarily experience pure moment-to-moment joy. You each have unique needs and can influence each other in a variety of ways.

Just as you care for yourself, how do you care for your business? And how does your business care for you?

Is the relationship co-dependent or symbiotic?

Like you, a business requires care, attention, and balance in its own way. If your business were to seek balance, you would not give it a plan to eat better, but you might change the way you invite people to work with you (as a representative of ‘your company’).

Good news — your relationship with your business can improve. By slowing the process of ‘doing’ as though you and the business are joined at the hip, perhaps next time you are in ‘doing’ mode, it can be with more consciousness and effectiveness, meeting both your needs and those of the business.

Imagine… you standing in your own power and your business standing in a power of its own, co-creating in a synergistic cycle together.

The first step is to admit, “While we do influence one another, I am not my business. I am a unique expression that is engaged with another unique expression and we both have our own needs.”

You may both want growth, but the roads look different for each of you.

• • • • • • •

Nurturing Needs

Like any relationship, by embracing your individuality AND being clear about the needs of the other, the relationship itself tends to improve.

Here are three aspects of relating to your business and you’ll see where I suggest you apply some energy now, for the sake of nurturing the relationship…

INTENTION (the ‘big picture’ of the future)
In messages today, we hear a lot about manifesting by looking ahead, envisioning exactly what you will need to bring your gifts to a community. Doing or having done an activity like a vision board is a great way to tap into your emotional connection to your business purpose. This is good stuff, but not the juicy nugget for today…

KNOWLEDGE (the ‘work’ of the present)
Chances are, you spend enough energy here already… being with clients, studying Ayurveda more deeply — isn’t this why you started a practice? To work with people and learn more about Ayurveda — what more could you want! Consider this area covered for now, even if you have unmet aspirations. You will come back to this easily at the right time.

FLOW (the ‘process’ of the past)
Here’s the one most people miss… spending energy on assessing, “what has been working?” as well as “what could be even better based on what has happened?” And even here, while a dharma business is an organism full of interrelated parts, it helps our ability to focus by being with one part at a time. Like asking the questions of our marketing efforts or our request for payment process.

• • • • • • •

Have a ‘Heart to Heart’ Intake

Try this: set a timer for 20 minutes and sit with a pen and paper.

Choose one area below to reflect on:

• Marketing: being in touch with your community.
• Sales: building agreements to fulfill offers within your community.
• Operations: fulfilling offers according to agreements.
• Finance: tracking commitments of appreciation.

Now, in relation to this area of your dharma business, ask yourself four questions of ‘Flow’ based on past experience:

1. What is the process now?
2. How is it working well?
3. How could it be even better?
4. What small change can I try making to see if things improve?

Keep in mind what it takes to complete a process from start to finish: How can you get the highest value with client interactions without over-committing resources?

• • • • • • •

Prologue

By doing this exercise, you will grow your awareness about what you know and what your dharma business knows, leveraging the intelligence of more than one perspective.

From that place, you can make some informed decisions about how ‘you’ can support ‘you’ as an individual while nurturing your relationship with the organism known as your ‘dharma business.’

Both living entities, both important in different ways, both requiring different needs to be in balance, and both desiring to live together in harmony.

And please be sure to tell your dharma business I said “hello” : )